My life as a missionary has taught me so many things. Things I think I don’t quite fully understand. One of the greatest things I have learned is how relentless the Lord is. This time last year was a little difficult for me. The Lord was trying to tell me something and I wasn’t listening. It took a few more months and a conversation with a friend for me to finally hear what the Lord was trying to tell me. He was telling me it was time to leave the jungle and move back to Oklahoma. When I said it out loud I was a little shocked. I hadn’t ever thought of leaving before and thought I for sure would be in the jungle for a while longer. It was a few weeks before I said anything to anyone else, I wanted to make sure I had heard the Lord correctly, and I had. I shared the news with my organization a few weeks after that and they were saddened but understood. Although the Lord said it was time to leave I still needed to return and fulfill my commitment for 2018.
Upon returning to the jungle I wondered why the Lord told me so early that it was time to go, and I am so thankful He did. If he wouldn’t have told me I think I would have treated this year the same as any and not savored sweet moments. I’ve already had to say some goodbyes, to teams, to some beautiful places, and some people I love. If I hadn’t known I wouldn’t have been able to cherish all of those moments. I’ve also thought maybe I haven’t done enough during my time here, what fruit has there been. Then the sweet Father reminded me of this, “It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are both God’s building.” 1 Cor 3:7-9.
I will boast about all the great things the Lord has done in this place! I’ve been able to see in my life and here in the jungle how faithful the Lord is, and IT IS AMAZING! I’m not sure why the Lord has called me back home. When I leave here it will be one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do. I love this place and it has become a home for me, my heart is here. But right now, I don’t think it’s my job to understand why the Lord has called me home, it is my job to be obedient.
My plan is to come back to Oklahoma at the end of October. I will go to a debrief the first of December in North Carolina (the same place I went for missionary training), this will help me learn how to re-enter the culture well. As far as what I will do when I move back home…I have no idea. Since the Lord told me to go back home I have been praying for provision, a place to live, a job, a car, all of those things. I thought for sure He would have shared some info with me by now but that hasn’t happened. I can’t wait to see what will happen and for the pillar of faith that will be built in me when He shows His faithfulness! This will be my prayer for the next few months, taken from a book written by Elisabeth Elliot: “Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to thee to be thine forever. Fill me and seal me with thy Holy Spirit, use me as thou wilt, send me where thou wilt, work out thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.”
Here is how you can pray:
- For me as I finish up the last couple months here
- As I say more goodbyes
- Provision when I return home (job, car, place to live)
- For the sweet girls in the student home, they don’t know I’m leaving yet
- For the friends and family I will leave behind- who know’s when I’ll see them again
Here is how you can help: I am needing around $2,500 to come home and go to debrief. This will cover plane tickets and the cost of the program. If you would like to give you can give here: http://harrahchurch.simpledonation.com and where it says choose fund select my name.
To those who have supported me through prayer and finances, I can’t say enough how grateful for you I am.